Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving And Loss

This has been a hard year, wait hard doesn't begin to define our year. I think my Daughter summed it up pretty well a couple of weeks ago when she angrily spouted, "I thought 13 would be my lucky year! It hasn't been! It's been the worst year EVER!" Dramatic, not really, you see I had just told her that her Great Grandfather, my Gramps, passed that morning at 10:23. This was October 29th just prior to her favorite holiday, Halloween. How ironic that this year the kid chose to be Queen Mab, who is sometimes seen in literature as the Queen of Darkness. It's been dark alright. The loss of my Gramps was made even more difficult for us to bear because it came on the tails of loosing his favorite pie baker, my Mom. Gramps was in his 90's, my Mom only 67. After having been told just a few weeks earlier that she was cancer free, a second sarcoma was found the day after Mother's Day. My Mom fought bravely to overcome that second sarcoma, but she lost the battle to cancer in June. Is that the end of our yearly losses, of course not. Things happen in 3's don't they!? A week ago today my Husband came home and announced that he just been laid off. Scared doesn't begin to describe having to go through unemployed with the Hubs for the third time in seven years.

So where am I at today, on a day of thanksgiving, after such a tumultuous last five months? I am at peace. The wonderful things that have been happening have been sadly overshadowed by all the pain, but they are there and I'm embracing them. In October my Brother tied the knot with an incredible Woman. It was a wonderful celebration with family, old friends and new friends. In addition to an awesome Sister In Law, I've been blessed with two darling Nieces close to my Daughter's age and an adorable baby Nephew who's still not too busy to snuggle. I scored! My glass has been keeping me extremely busy and all that work has begun to become fruitful. I'm excited that we've only begun this year's holiday season! Funerals and visitations are hard and painful, but they're also a place where people reconnect. I'm grateful for the friends and family that I was able to reconnect with in these last months. Though jobless is a nightmare, so is a job that was constantly stressful. The hubs is choosing to create opportunities for himself in the job world and I applaud his efforts. This will turn into a job that he is energized by, not drained by! My Princess is growing into a brilliant, talented, beautiful teen who I'm very excited to watch become her own person. She's become a driven student, actor, singer and pie baker who is just bursting with potential. The kid may have chosen to be Queen Mab "a fairy of darkness" for Halloween, but Mab was also said to be a fairy who brings dreams to people. We're going to continue our journey with that version of Queen Mab close to us. Let the dreams begin!

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